Nude. Bare. Stripped. Unclothed. Undisguised.
Uncover. Reveal. Expose. Raw. Natural.
If you had told me five years ago, how often I would be getting naked at this point in my life, I would never have believed you. I could never have predicted that not only would I become less inhibited with my husband, but that I would actually revel in the opportunity to get naked in front of strangers, in public and to people who were not my husband. I was modest and private. Back then I was riddled with shame over my body, sexuality, and venturing out of the box. I was terrified of judgement, disapproval and having my morality come into question. When my personal life began to feel unstable, I had to examine whether I was happy in my own selfreflection. Did I feel good about my contribution to my marriage? Was I taking ownership and action for things I wanted to change? What importance did I place on the way others perceived me? I started to doubt that I was living as authentically as I could and it was limiting me from discovering real joy and self-acceptance. This is when I began peeling back some of the layers and started the gears turning as I underwent my own sort of sexual revolution.
After spending over a decade with me, Jason has come to know me better than I know myself. He has been a helpful mirror, and a beacon for growth. For years, I stayed clothed around him. I would only let him see what I thought was appropriate, and I would keep the rest censored. This coverage applied to my mind, body and soul. Through baring it all with Jason, I have begun to shed off some inhibitions and have been introduced to a side of myself that has never really been seen before, and it feels really good to get naked.
Sex. Such a taboo subject to most. It’s the subject many don’t feel comfortable talking about, yet our bodies and minds scream something different to us and want to be liberated. From the onslaught of adolescent hormones through their descent later in life, our primal nature tells us to use our sexuality. Society begs to differ, but it’s all around us for a reason. It’s in our daily routines, the way we eat, the jokes we make, the shows we watch, the music we listen to. Yet, we have all heard the phrase “Don’t talk about religion, sex or politics.” Why not? How else do we find progress in these areas? I certainly don’t care to go back to the Dark Ages. I love having my freedoms and I don’t think I’m the minority here. When we came into puberty, didn’t we all notice the tingles in our bellies when we saw a high school crush, or get excited when something came on TV you weren’t supposed to see, or have fleeting fantasies that make you wonder what you truly desire if given the approval to try out?
Like a fingerprint, we were born with a unique sexual identity. After 35 years, I feel like I’ve finally begun to tune into my own. It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to allow for sexual exploration that I truly learned to accept it, embrace it, harness it and have a hell of a lot of fun with it. I came into my sexuality pretty young. I had cravings as soon as my body started to change. For many years, I had an unhealthy relationship with sex. I wanted it and thought about it regularly but have pretty much always been made to feel like I shouldn’t or at least not to talk about it. Insert shame, one of the most debilitating of all human emotions. I have seen marital destruction, political scandals, sexual recklessness, resentment, envy, dishonesty, fear of judgement and so much more, as a result of this societal shutdown of human sexuality.
This shutdown bleeds over into many long-term relationships. The notion that our sex life is supposed to start diminishing the moment we commit is a fallacy we need to stop accepting as truth. Finding a partner you’ve decided you can share your world with should offer the perfect opportunity to get real and uncovered. It should be the beginning of truly learning how enjoyable sex can be. To let your partner explore your body and the naughty desires that previously laid dormant in your head, can be one of the most intense bonding experiences in a relationship. To throw back the sheets and let yourself be completely available to your partner can lead to a lifetime of other worldly sex and personal growth, because its a journey you chose to embark on together.
I have had a strong primal attraction to Jason from the moment I met him but didn’t allow myself to entertain the idea that we could dive deeper and explore further. I was always too shy about the topic and felt like there were rules I needed to follow. Slowly, he started to introduce me to sex toys, conversations about understanding orgasms, his sexuality and desires, the fun of bedroom photography and the possibility that we can live out our wildest fantasies. He patiently broke down the walls of shame and distrust by celebrating my sexuality and encouraging me to come into my power.
Oftentimes, I find the opposite to be true in most relationships. We jump into commitment and willingly forfeit our sexuality to our partner. That other person usually accepts the offer, then holds possession over it. I have heard many stories of men and women getting shutdown at the mention of using toys with their partners, or the interest in watching porn together, or god forbid anybody talks about masturbation or even inviting another person into the bedroom. This negative response is typically based in feelings of inadequacy. Herein lies the root of the mental sexual shutdown. Sex is such a touchy subject if its not nurtured in a healthy, positive way. If we change the narrative where its about vulnerability, growth and intimacy rather than insecurity, incompetency and jealousy, then we can likely have some banging good times ahead.
For years I felt as though my thoughts were trapped in my head and the way I wanted to use my body and sexuality were held captive. I was scared to let them out for fear of a bad reaction. Jason has a gentle yet enthusiastic way of encouraging my thoughts to the surface and this is when the fun really began. We both had fantasies that included more people and after hundreds of conversations about it, we decided we could venture into the world of non-monogamy. It was in those early conversations about opening our marriage that a level of trust and security was established, quite frankly a level I couldn’t have seen coming. We talked about things I never thought were passable in a marriage, as it was traditionally taught to me. Marriage is about committing all your thoughts, feelings, visions, actions, and words to just that one person, right? We have found that to be untrue, in our dynamic. We know we want to grow old together. So, we embrace opportunities to grow. Through our devotion to each other, as well as external relationships and human connection, we have found the most personal growth.
We have relinquished the impulse to control or possess each other. Instead we try to celebrate each other in our individual powers and gifts. We embrace the ability to converse and connect with other people and revel in opportunities to fulfill naughty desires. The days of looking over his shoulder at his phone or wondering why there is a blonde Bobby pin in our house, or curiosity over his browsing history have come to an end because of our ability to get fully emotionally undressed with each other.
Obviously, not all couples have interest in expanding their boundaries beyond monogamy, but most people have nuggets of naughtiness bouncing around in their minds, ready to be set free if only they were only let out of the cage. To gain insight and understanding into your most beloved person’s thoughts is a gift that should not be taken lightly. It can be incredibly terrifying to open up about the things that make us squirm while our eyes are closed. If given a safe and welcoming space to uncover these truths, anything is possible. Making it a practice to expose your partner to your innermost feelings and desires can level up the standard for intimacy and help maintain a spicy sex life. It’s freeing to let it all hang out.
Ditch the Devices and Get Naked in Nature
It has been through the journey into my sexuality that I have found more of my humanity. In an age where technology feeds us an image of what we are supposed to be, its challenging to discern what’s innate versus what is learned as it pertains to individual sexual preferences. It can be difficult to remove ourselves from the expectations set forth for us by society and focus on being the most authentic versions of ourselves. Sometimes it feels as though the more plugged in we are with our devices and social medias, the more unplugged we become with ourselves and our sexual energy gets drained into an outlet with no return. We must disconnect on occasion and reconnect with our true nature.
We see so much sexuality throughout our social medias but where’s the personal connection? Most of us are guilty of taking and posting sexy pictures simply for the likes and comments. It feels good to share your vibe and get a taste of what others have to offer, but it can be incredibly impersonal. Don’t get me wrong, I love opening my Instagram to photos of beautiful, empowered women and sexy, confident men exuding sexuality in whatever way feels most fitting for them. Not only do I appreciate the mental and physical work that goes into it, but it also inspires me to hold tight to my power and nix feelings of shame.
There is a reason so many women dress up as a sexy ____ for Halloween. It’s because on that one night a year, there is a crack in the door, the same door that society shuts to snuff out our sexual expression. Most of us don’t hesitate to slide through that slight but temporary opening to have an excuse to feel that yummy rush. Embracing that energy is natural and I vote “yes” for tapping into more of it.
It’s a fairly common practice to hire a photographer for a boudoir session, get these gorgeous images then not know what to do with them. If I had a dollar for all the women out there who went through this somewhat uncomfortable process, only to then take these images and immediately hide them in a book in the closet, I’d be a rich lady. Unless you’re an exhibitionist, a model or a friend of the photographer, that session can be daunting. It can also be equally liberating. The reward is in doing something out of your comfort zone, seeing how well you can own your femininity and having something tangible to serve as a reminder of your boldness. We usually get these pictures taken for our significant other as a gift, but I hear most women reflect on the process more than the result itself. What if we could make this process a little more sexy and personal between lovers?
Jason and I are nature enthusiasts and believe in the power of grounding, the practice of electrically reconnecting to the earth. We frequently take road trips and have found ourselves in some of the most stunning locations in the U.S. The further into nature we explore, the further into our own human nature we discover.
Being in the great outdoors makes you tap into your wild side. I get some serious brain boners as I take in the gorgeous surroundings, while watching my family explore. Jason usually has his shirt off, and I get to ogle over his chiseled body as his sun kissed muscles shift with each step. My focus usually shifts towards his sex appeal and I find myself flooded with desire as I watch him move around like the picture-perfect Adonis he is. I usually start feeling revved up as we find ourselves in solitude in these picturesque locations.
We are always taking pictures of the views and each other and I find myself eye-fucking the man behind the camera most of the time. As he tells me where to position myself, and what looks to give, I get all hot and bothered listening to his directions. At first, he would take a few pictures of me smiling next to a gorgeous backdrop then in the last shot say “ok, pull up your shirt”. I would get a rush at the thought of someone coming around the corner to me topless, and it made that moment really hot. We both love having a collection of naughty photos to reflect on and we see no reason why we can’t bring the boudoir to the outdoors.
What started as a quick PG-13 topless shot here and there quickly developed into full blown nude photo sessions out in the wilderness. It makes hiking even more interesting when you are scouting out locations to bare it all. If either of us finds a perfect spot, we get this mutual excitement. My clothes hit the ground with a quickness and I thrust myself into the scenery and wait for his direction. The vibration I feel with my body exposed to the elements gets me into a raw headspace where I feel all that matters is this tryst between the two of us. This man knows every line of my body, the best angles of my face, the parts of me I feel great about or not so good about as well, and he takes it all into consideration. He is a master of making me feel sexy and empowered. He is the owner of my heart’s deepest desires and sharing this session with him is enthralling and erotic.
At any moment, someone could be coming around the bend and catch us getting naughty in nature which makes it that much more invigorating. I know time is of the essence, so I keep my gaze intensely focused on him, waiting to follow his command, locking eyes with him so that my facial expressions read as lustful as possible. Watching his creativity bloom as he moves me into the right positions is so attractive and I have found myself fantasizing about these rendezvous even when we are sitting on the couch at home.
There is always a place for a professional photo shoot, where you can mentally and physically prepare, the lighting is intentional and the desired result is previously agreed upon. The product will surely be worth the money and time. However, it can be outrageously sexy to offer the opportunity of capturing you in all your divine beauty and sexual prowess to your lover. The connection between the two parties is intense and memories can last far beyond the photo shoot.
When we think about getting naked with someone, immediately our thoughts shoot to nudity in the physical form. You can get nude with your doctor, or in the locker room. Exposing our bodies shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s how we were born. But, to really get undressed and uncover our most vulnerable parts of ourselves to the people we love is where the purest form of trust, intimacy, growth and communication can be found.
Peeling away the facade and completely welcoming that person into your world can be one of the sexiest experiences imaginable.
I invite you to get outside, find yourself somewhere that makes you feel alive and bare it all to your partner. Divulge your wildest fantasies to each other. Feel your capable, beautiful body against the earth and let the person you love capture you in all your naturalness. There is no better backdrop than nature and no better foreground than you, embracing your raw sexuality and unconfined power. Plus, it will make for one hell of a coffee table photo album!
Now, lets strip down and get naked!